Things not to ask an ex-pat resident - a lighthearted view
Living here is different to being here on holiday. I'll probably edit this blog as and when I hear more of the type of questions people ask those of us lucky enough to live here. We know you're interested but sometimes it gets a bit much:) So, with that in mind, here are a few questions, the answer we'd like to give and the answer we'd usually give.
Q. Do you live here?
A. No, I commute:)
A. Yes
Q. Do you like it?
A. No, I prefer ......... a lot better, that's why I live here:)
A. Yes, it beats where I used to live.
Q. How did you get here?
A. Plane, what about you?:)
A. I was ( insert sob story/featured on Crimewatch/whatever ) and that's how I got here.
Q. What's it like living out here?
A. What do you think?
A. What do you think? ( with smile )
Q. How much do you earn?
A. Mind you own business!
A. Are you from the Inland Revenue?
Q. Are you married?
A. ( This could be anything:) ) I'd personally show the ring finger!
A. Again, all depends...
Q. Is it sunny all year round?
A. Do I look like Michael Fish?
A. Pretty much although climate change is making Lanzarote a little wetter these days.
When it does rain...
Q. When does the sun come out?
A. As above:)
A. Dunno, but I can pretty much guarantee you'll get more sun here than you'll get at home.
I'll add more in time or when I hear them but right now I'm being harassed by a woman who claims to be my future ex-girlfriend ( she's cleaning:) )
Aims of this site
It's going to take me a good while to get this site to the level I want it so please be patient with me. I have other things in my life as you'll probably see in due course, like eating and sleeping, lol:) I have a lot of ideas, a lot of things to say and a lot of things to hopefully make your holiday or life here enjoyable. I've put some pages on here with that in mind although, as of today, they're empty. There will be topical issues discussed on here in these blogs, issues regarding many subjects, current topics, reviews both local, national and on a world scale, basically anything I feel is relevant to Lanzarote. Please be patient and tolerant with me though, all in good time. Hopefully a lot of it will be thought provoking, interesting, maybe a little contentious even. Like I've said before though, they will be my views and should be treated as such be they proved right or wrong at a later date.
So, there will be Attractions, Restaurants, Activities, Events, Photos, Links, Chamonix and other pages added as and when I think of them. I know that Chamonix may seem an odd addition on a sunny Lanzarote website but I've spent the last three winters there and learned so many things from so many people and more than enough about myself too! As of today there's a possibility of me going there again for the '08/'09 season so I may be writing to you from the freezing cold Alps in December!! We'll see... Again, all in good time.
I'm aiming to make this site personal as mentioned, a little like Facebook but hopefully a lot more informative to the people who don't know me personally and wish to enjoy the island.
I believe that Lanzarote has something to offer everyone. The people who do not enjoy their holiday or life here are either badly advised, unlucky with the weather or simply do not go out and explore what Lanzarote has to offer. So, welcome to my island home, I love living here and this website will explain why.
English blood Canarian heart
When I'm driving to and from work or wherever I drive I pretty much always have the local radio on, imaginatively titled 'Radio Lanzarote'. I find it keeps my Spanish at a reasonable level and keeps me up to date with ordinary peoples problems. Every week there is a debate regarding local issues and there's a phone in where residents ring in with their concerns and wishes. This week featured a man called Roger Deign who I believe acts as a councillor for the Partido Popular ( The Popular Party ) Conservatives to us. I have an issue with Roger Deign being there at all to be truthful. I know that the locals, or some of them anyway, value ex-pat input, they value our ideas and hopefully share our vision of the islands future but ( and this is where it becomes an issue for me ) at what point did they ever agree that an Englishman could have any say whatsoever in the way their island is run? To me it's a bit like going in to someone's house and even though you're paying rent, you're the one making decisions!!! In your own room perhaps but outside those walls? No.
At the core of the problems some of us have run away from back in the UK is the very fact that the government is "too soft" on immigrants, bending over backwards to try and accommodate them whilst forgetting its own. It leads to division and system abuse. I cannot blame anyone who takes advantage of the system but I can point out to where I believe that leads. Roger Deign has been here for many years, many more than I. He's set up his own British School which caters for mainly British and Irish ex-pat kids paying, in my honest opinion, high prices per term for their education. It is akin to Mr Patel setting up a predominantly Muslim school in the UK to further the education of Muslim and ethnic minority kids. I'm not saying that either is right or wrong. I am merely asking the question of whether it furthers harmony between the locals and the many foreigners making Lanzarote their home?
On a smaller scale, my girlfriend has a flat mate and whilst she does everything in her power to make his life more comfortable there is no doubt as to who actually makes the decisions in the house. On a grander scale and as much as I tear my hair out sometimes with the way things are run around here, I'd rather be ruled by the locals than any ex-pat and if the locals actually do vote in favor of having any outside input in parliament then Mr Deign and his right wing views wouldn't be my preferred choice safe to say! Here's what he had to say about a proposed immigrants center to cope with the overflow of people risking life and limb to get out of Africa and in to Europe. Surely they'd rather stay at home if conditions were better? Many die trying to make the trip. Shouldn't we try and make trade fairer, share our vast wealth and make poverty history? Then people would want to stay at home. Anyway, here goes Mr Deign:
PP Councillor Roger Deign caused a stir when he said he feared the centre would become a ‘Guantanamo’, and claimed that residents of Costa Teguise were worried the immigrants would bring ‘tropical diseases’, and that the town would be vulnerable to ‘starving, desperate people who will do anything to stay alive.” Deign’s words were attacked by the socialists, who said his words were ‘intolerable’ ‘racist’ and ‘xenophobic’. Deign later apologised for what he described as his ‘unfortunate’ statements.
In closing, I'm English, I will always be English but I choose to live here, this is my home but I'll never be Canarian. It is for the people of this island to decide their future and it is for them to ask of me my opinions should they wish to. I heard one guy tell me that he was living here to get away from all the "Paki's" and immigrants back 'home'. I asked him if he'd started to learn Spanish. I received a startled look of the "Why?" proportions so I smiled politely and walked away, avoiding confrontation. I'm glad that Mr Deign's command of Spanish is excellent even if his accent's a little strange! At least I guess that's something positive I can say about him:)
Electrical Storm
I thought I'd touch on a few things I've heard from people buying electrical goods here. Again, and I feel like a presenter on Crimewatch when saying this, the things mentioned here are rare. People buy goods over here and generally have good use of them back home. I'm only trying to make sure that as fewer consumers as possible fall for the tricks some 'shopkeepers' use to 'extract' extra income should we say. A lot of what I may say here will be a case of using your head but bear with me:) Again, I must stress that these scribblings are my own thoughts and should be taken as such.
First thing I'd suggest is watch out for the names on the product. It's easy to discount the fact that an item is 'Soany' or 'Teknikcs', 'JBC' or 'Phillips' when the price is great. Look at the box, look at the item, check the weight. If an item weighs a bit, generally I'd say that it'll be made well and it'll be genuine.
Second thing is make sure that the item you're buying is the item in the box when you leave. Some people have fallen for the " I'll get you a new one in a box from the back " line, not checked it, paid for it and realised on the way home or at home that it isn't the same item they were shown in the shop.
I've been a victim too so I know how frustrating it is. I didn't know this but I do now, to the tune of 275 Euros!!!, that on a watch or a camera the screen is NOT covered by the guarantee. I argued to the point of wanting to rip the guys head off ( which would've have probably landed me in more trouble and I've known in store fights to happen too ) but no joy. He never told me that the screen wasn't covered, he only told me that the camera was. As the screen is part of the camera, it's not daft to assume that the screen is under guarantee but it isn't. I had to pay 275 Euros, as I said before and I wasn't happy.
I'd have mentioned the store on this website as I'd bought numerous things form there over the years and been very happy with their service but I'm not going to. I've never been back since.
Thirdly, and this is important, paying by visa. I've heard a few things about this and to be honest I don't know how the scam works. There's a few takes on it too, like the charging for the same items twice. I'd say once you've paid for an item, call your visa card company and make sure the amount you agreed is the amount taken. Also inform them that you want to put a stop on any further transactions from the vendor. A lot of this is common sense. I'd always pay cash, make sure you get a receipt and take it from there. It is very difficult to conduct a claim against a company here ( I'm currently in dispute with Movistar, my mobile phone company and it's taking an age ) so I'd say you've little to no chance once your holiday is over.
Lastly, I wouldn't buy electronic goods from a street vendor. The belts, the African ornaments and everything that isn't electronic will be up to you. I have known a guy buy a watch off a street vendor and it's worked for ages. I've asked him for his lottery numbers, lol:)
Always barter too. Prices aren't fixed, even in shops. Try and get the best deal you can and good luck.
That's all for this week, more pitfalls for you next week but remember, these are only cautionary words, most people visit the island and leave very happy so sleep well! Lol:)
If you have been a victim then please tell me about it on [email protected]
Thanks!
Crisis! What Crisis?
It seems that all I hear at the moment is crisis, crisis, crisis... I'm actually a little tired of all the depression. Sure, it's tough, it's really hard at the moment for everyone but every lull has an upturn and we should be planning ahead really. It seems to me that politicians are doing here what they do in the UK and probably all over the world too. The opposition is blaming the elected leader for the crisis when everyone can see that it's a world depression, not exclusively attributed to one country or another. It seems that when the USA sneezes the world catches a cold.
One good thing is and this is based on what I think I understand, so correct me if I'm wrong, this whole crash in the value of things has exposed a massive floor in the market system. Is it true that people have been making vast sums of money from not actually doing anything other than speculating on the value of things? I don't think I'm talking about a few quid here, more like millions and millions Rodney:) If this is true then it's very wrong and needs to be addressed.
Richard Fuld the head of Lehman Brothers which filed for bankruptcy earlier this year apparently earned something like 700 million dollars from being with the company. From what I can understand this guy failed at his job, declared the company bankrupt and filed for protection. From that, the decision to prop up Wall Street was taken, costing 700 BILLION Dollars!!!
I heard the term 'Federal Reserves'. Where did that money come from in the first place? What's happened to Mr Fuld?
I was listening to local radio again this week with alarm as they talked about millions of Euros of Public money being used to prop up a system that had failed and big businessmen ( the European versions of Mr Fuld no doubt ) along with it. So, and correct me if I'm wrong, the system fails, big time, all these guys who've made sums of money that would buy small nations cry the poor tale, let huge amounts of ordinary people down, create a feeling of negativity that stretches the world over and our elected leaders bail the market out using what amounts to OUR MONEY??? Is this right?
Is it me on my own here when I wonder where all these reserves were in the first place? We've got poverty the world over, climate change problems and wars abound and to top it all we allow them to throw our money at a system that's failed. If I don't do my job properly then I get sacked and there's no one to help me, I'm on my own. If we're going to have capitalism over everything then at least we should play by the rules.
Sadly, I doubt if we ever will. I know who'll end up forking out for this mess. It'll be you and I, in the UK, in Spain, in Lanzarote. Those 'reserves' will have to be put back yet I'd like to see my taxes go on Education, on Poverty, on Health, not on wars and financial systems.
I just want someone to step up to the mark, stop the playground of political points scoring, tell the truth and do what's right for a change. True richness surely lies in something deeper than lining your own pockets with 700 million while ordinary people risk their life on small boats from Africa to try and better their life here. I wish I had 700 million to spend. I wouldn't put it in an investment bank, I'd put it in a people's bank. In fact, sod it, I'd set up my own bank and use it in my life time to better the lives of everyone. I don't want to die with anything other than a big fat zero in my account!
I'm looking past this crisis already, to the future and I really hope that people will learn that capitalism, although a very good thing in terms of rewarding the hard worker, does have its pitfalls, like allowing people to earn these vast, unimaginable sums of money. Surely we can educate people to control their greed? Some of the best things I've ever done have been for free, helping people, giving up my time and energy to make someone else's life better. I'm not a millionaire but I feel like one. Driving home, coming over the lip of the hill overlooking Playa Quemada and having to pinch myself that I actually live there makes me feel rich beyond words!
Ok, that's it. Every down has it's up so we've got something really great to look forward to, remember that!
Weather Woes
It's been a funny week weather wise, " nice weather for ducks " as my future ex-Mother-in-Law would say:) It seems like we can all see climate change now but I see very few people actually caring about it. Something's going down, we can all see it, the experts have been telling us for a while but now we're all just looking up at the sky and saying " This is very, very strange ". My best friend Mark countered my eco-warrior ways by saying " The last time this happened we weren't all driving around in turbo diesel mammoths were we? " which is a fair point, but the last time this happened it happened over a longer period of time than my lifetime. What's happening at the moment is scary for me. I don't necessarily worry about me but I do worry, especially regarding my adopted little 2 year old daughter.
I remember my other best friend Kez coming back from Lanzarote after playing here for 5 weeks, 4 of which were in January ( that actually was the catalyst for my life being here rather than Bradford but that's another story ) Well, he came back black, and I mean BLACK!!! I don't think you could do that anymore. I can guarantee you'll see more of the big yellow ball in the sky here than in Bradford over January and the temperature will always be nice but I can't guarantee great weather anymore. Don't get me wrong, it's glorious today after a horrible morning and a rough few days but I've seen the difference over the years I've been here. We'll probably have great weather for a while now and let's have a reality check, I'd prefer it here raining than Bradford rain any day of the week but rain isn't good for business, full stop. People come here to get away from rain, not necessarily cold. ( Just a short note here, never believe any weather site, they can all be wildly wrong. I once saw thunderstorms & cloud predicted for Lanzarote over a week and it was glorious bar one day which was light cloud! )
There's no doubt that tourism is fragile at the moment, weather aside the crisis is starting to bite and we have the ' All Inclusive ' problem ( which we'll come to another week ) so for the people here it's important that the tourists coming here do go home satisfied.
I wonder what the future holds for Lanzarote. It looks bleak and I'm generally an optimist so it's worth bearing in mind that these things usually come around again. Lanzarote is still a great place to visit for winter sun even if it's only an 80% chance of sun these days. I wonder what will happen to the fauna of the island? Rain brings growth and vegetation. The ground is volcanic which has everything it needs in abundance for growth but prior to the last few years we've lacked the water needed. With water now seemingly being a permanent fixture I wonder how the island will change in the next few years?
All food for thought. Whatever happens from now on in I think we've started the ball rolling. Experts predict that water levels will rise. It's just that they can't decide by how much. Some say 1m, some say 6m others say that there isn't enough ice on the poles to raise the water level by that much so we needn't worry. In my little village of Playa Quemada someone continues to add bits to their beach house ( illegally ) with little care. The sea doesn't seem to be any nearer my doorstep and has been at the same level ever since I can remember. I wonder if they know what's around the corner? That's right, they don't and it seems that the so called experts who are probably paid serious amounts of our cash to find out don't either. We'll see soon enough no doubt.
Bring Me Sunshine
After my global warming bit here's some good news!
It's been glorious since Thursday here, as good as I can remember it being and it just re-enforces one of the reasons why I came here. Lanzarote, like most places I would guess, comes to life when the big yellow ball in the sky makes an appearance and it certainly has in recent days. Today has been stunning, like a beautiful British summer day, not too hot but certainly enough to turn you pink! I took a stroll this morning and felt the sun on my face and the heat in my bones and just smiled a wry knowing smile.
Thing is, I've felt what its like to stand on the platform in the freezing wind, snow, rain or even just one of those mundane Monday's and dreamed about being somewhere like Lanzarote. It's there for everyone I think, it's just that not everyone really wants to make the move out of their comfort zone. I had little to no choice in the matter. My life in Bradford had become unbearable. It wasn't just the weather, it was everything. Here I saw an opportunity to have fun, make enough money and be warm:) Whilst I'll never be a millionaire financially I feel like one on days like today. November 8th, sunny, t-shirt on, shades, FA Cup third round day and Man Utd PLC Global Franchise getting beat, it doesn't get better really:) Despite the current financial uncertainty, despite the problems facing the island on a small scale and the world on a larger scale and despite Bradford City just conceding in the Cup as I type, life here is SO much better here than the UK for me.
I say for me because Lanzarote isn't for everyone. There was once a time when ex-pats would buy a bar open the doors and print money but that's changed. We will talk about that at a later date but for now get out your shorts, get the sandals on ( no socks please:) ) and dip your toes in the sea!!! If you're in the UK or in a cold place, run the hot water and have a bath!
Many people envy my life, I talk to them after gigs and their earnings will probably dwarf mine, they'll have the car, the house, the kids, the gadgets and mod-cons at home, the security both financial and emotional, everything it seems primed for happiness yet I seem to be the only one genuinely happy. I hope this blog rubs off on you guys reading it. I'm not trying to rub anyones nose in anything only pointing out that it's out there, you can take the opportunity and life is only what you put in to it. Real wealth and happiness isn't about security, it's about taking risks and doing good. If I had a message to anyone it would be " Do good, try to be good and life will reward you "
Having said all that, I'd still like a lottery win, lol:) 2-1 City!!! Reasons to be cheerful! Still, 5 minutes to go...
Not So Magic Roundabouts
So, you're in a three lane approach to a roundabout. Now, bearing in mind that we drive on the right here in Lanzarote, you're in the central lane with your indicators off to go straight on. As you're doing this you notice the bloke to your right ( the inside lane in this case ) turning all the way round the roundabout to turn left without indicating.
What do you do?
a) Smile politely and let him cross you and cut you up whilst he throws his arms around shouting expletives from his car?
b) Curse and scream whilst braking full on, nearly causing the car behind to crash into you?
c) Sod him and crash straight into the idiot?
The answer my friends is that he's well within his rights to be on the inside lane at a three lane roundabout and turn left without indicating!!!! He should indicate when leaving the roundabout but few seldom do.
The other week, and this is no word of a lie, a Guardia Civil officer pulled me over for indicating at a roundabout and told me that it was " not necessary " even though my girlfriend's driving instructor has actually encouraged her to do it!! I told him that this wasn't the case in the UK and he rather bluntly replied " Well, you're not in the UK now are you? " That may be so but I refrained from telling him that the first recognised roundabout rules for giving priority for circulating traffic were devised by an Englishman, Frank Blackmore and that these rules are pretty much recognised as standard throughout Europe ( unless you're in France - Priorite a droite, MY GOD!!! Can anyone tell me when rural France becomes suburbia and the rule changes back to normal? ) Anyway, point is, I had to concede otherwise I might not have been sat here otherwise!
Tourists need to be warned about the perils of Spanish roundabouts. I've never known any company give out any information/warnings regarding Spanish rules. It's time the Spanish changed their rules to be perfectly honest as I can't think of any reason why priority should be given to inside lane traffic. If anyone can, my email is [email protected]
Basically, it leads to carnage. I can't imagine how a Canarian would get on in the UK. It took me a chat with a local Police officer to clarify the rule and even he conceded that the best way was mine, err, sorry Frank, Frank Blackmore's:) I've been nearly crashing and going mad at roundabouts at what I'd consider to be irresponsible, reckless and downright ignorant driving for 13 years yet I've been the one in the wrong all the time.
It's the one rule I don't adhere to here in general and the one thing I've tried to ignore if I'm being honest ( whilst being sure there are no Police around:) ) I'm hoping that my actions which are law in the UK as in, I indicate on approach, keep indicating on if need be, right or left and change my indication on leaving if I need to do so, will lead to a roundabout revolution here. That my actions might just educate the locals amd male them take note and use roundabouts the way they should be used. I might be wrong to do this and I might be fighting a losing battle ( most of them have got to learn what indicators are first:) ) but like they say here " If we fight we may lose, if we don't fight at all we're losers "
If you want to join in my revolution be very, very careful and watch out for Coppers, if you don't, then stay in the inside lane, go where the hell you like, indicating or not and you'll be alright, unless someone sympathetic to my revolution chooses option 'c' that is:)
Reps Reputation
It's becoming apparent that there are dirty tricks being played in Lanzarote now that tourism is tight and the people that are here are a being, let's say, a little more prudent. I realise the need for survival and survival is, or so they say, for the fittest but there comes a point when you have to say, woooaaahh!!!
For me that point was reached a couple of weeks ago when I heard that during a welcome meeting one representative of a hotel ( which I can't name for obvious reasons ) advised their guests to, and I quote " make sure you're back in the hotel before dark because Costa Teguise is a dangerous place to be "
If you've been to the island before you're probably wetting yourself laughing right now, holding your sides and wondering if I've become some sort of literate rival for Peter Kay:) Look, I am by no means saying that bad stuff, really bad stuff, has happened here and will happen in the future but statistically Lanzarote has to be about as safe as my old village of Eldwick in West Yorkshire, probably a little bit safer. Yes, make sure you're not vulnerable, especially if you're female. I don't mean that in a sexist way but in general a male will physically overpower a female so ladies, don't get intoxicated, don't go off with any man you're unsure about and please keep away from dark areas and the beach at night. It's nothing you wouldn't do at home. Certainly Costa Teguise is one of the safest places I've ever been to, not just on this island but in the world and the same applies for Playa Blanca but it's always wise to make sure you're accompanied by a friend on the way home and not too drunk, just in case.
Another thing I've heard reps doing is to sell a trip round the island for an astronomical amount of money. Again, do your homework. I typed in " fire mountain admission Lanzarote " to Google just now and found out within seconds that the price in Sept 2005 was 6 Euros. So, in 2008 I'm guessing it'll be around 7 or 8 Euros? Below is a link to the official Lanzarote tourist site. It's pretty good although it didn't come up in any English search engine and I found it by using a Spanish search:
http://www.turismolanzarote.com/spel/SPEL/published/en/detalle_rentacar.jsp?DS70.ID=6228
I hope that will help you. If the link comes up in Spanish then look to the top right corner under " Idioma or Idiomas " This is language or languages, click it and an English version should be available. I can't believe that it's not available in German but there you go.
Search around the net for reviews regarding sights and activities on Lanzarote. Eventually I'll have a few on here but it'll take time. Find out about car hire ( read the roundabouts blog on here - 15/11/08 - before you do though! ) See if you can do it cheaper yourself before taking a day trip anywhere. It can be a lot of fun too, especially driving on the wrong side of the road!!! I spoke to an Irish couple recently who paid 140 Euros or so for both of them to take a day trip around the island, not even their food was included. They would have probably gone to a pre-arranged restaurant too, not having any choice in the matter. I said they should have given me the 140 Euros and I'd taxi them round, lol:)
Remember that Reps are your first point of contact here so use your head. Most of them work for basic plus commission and they'll sell you anything for a quick sale. Hear what they say but do your homework even before you get here. Their interests are usually to make a quick buck, go out at night and piss it up against the wall then return back to the UK for a career. My mission on the other hand is to make sure you come over here, enjoy yourself to the max, go home and tell everyone else and hopefully they and you will come back! If you don't enjoy Lanzarote after reading through this website before you come then either I've failed or Lanzarote isn't for you. I'll answer as many questions as I can via mail ( [email protected] ) but please be brief as I do have a life outside of this website. This is a couple of hours a week for me and I'm doing it for absolutely no gain other than the fact that my knowledge may help others to enjoy everything this island has to offer.
So, final advice, be wary of reps!!!
Something to tickle your taste buds?...
You've all heard of Tortilla ( Spanish Omlette made from potato and occasionally onions, green pepper, red pepper, sometimes chorizo too ) well in this blog we're going to take a lighter look at some of those Menu mistakes, those culinary delights that emanate from bad spellings, bad translation or typos:) There are three that I can think of straight away but maybe I'll add to the list if you mail me with your own ( [email protected] ) The first one was in a restaurant that used to be in my home little village of Playa Quemada. Sadly, it's been closed down now but you used to be able to order "Chicken in his own sauce!!!". Quite what that was none of us ever found out! Maybe you know what sauce a chicken has made his own? The mind boggles, lol:)
One of my favorites, and this is definitely a translation problem, is an ever present in certain cafe's and bars in Arrecife. So, would you order a "Vegetarian with Crabs?":) Hardly great for tourism.
In Spanish a 'Vegetal' sandwich is one that normally contains lettuce, egg, asparagus, tomato, onion, basically anything salad-like but and this is where it gets interesting, what 'vegetal' translates to is vegetable!!! Before you Spanish speakers say hang on, isn't that 'Verdura'? Yes, Verdura is used but the translation for that is 'Greens' so why a sandwich that's got hardly any or no vegetables in at all is called basically a vegetable sandwich and not a salad sandwich is beyond me!!!
Crab is 'cangrejo' in Spanish so what they are trying to say is a Crab Salad sandwich and not necessarily a Vegetarian with an STD in between two bits of bread!!! Crazy stuff!
However, if you're unsure about the previous offerings then you could go down to the Tipico Asia Restaurant in Playa Blanca, squeeze your way past a few Vegetarians with Crabs ordering Chicken in his own sauce and get some "Top Chinese Cocking!!!"
I can assure you that I have absolutely no idea what this entails but I do have Deliverance style nightmares now that I work in the Irish Bar next door:)
Seriously, I've been assured that the food is very good so don't worry too much about what may or may not be for desert, lol:)
I thought I'd better inform the waiter in Arrecife about the Vegetarian with Crabs but I made him promise not to amend it, ever! I think it's the little things about this island that make it special and it's little discrepancies like these that stick in peoples minds. Still, ask me if I'd risk some Chinese Cocking and I'd have to decline:)
Man Flu...
It's about this time of year when tourists coming from colder climes jump on planes for a sunny break, bringing with them their bugs and viruses, ready to breathe them on all us unsuspecting locals:) It's a near cast iron certainty that at some point during the winter there will be a period when your resistance is beaten and cold/flu symptoms will bite. Planes don't help. Where, or so I'm told, the air is thinner and these bugs fly around easier, getting up everyone's nostrils and in to their systems. Well, someone's responsible for bringing over a beauty for me ( thanks:) ) and it's happening right now to all of us, me, my girlfriend, our little 'un and a few of our friends too.
My good lady reckons I'm pretty good though as far as blokes go, not moaning too much. I haven't stayed in bed and I haven't missed a gig but in truth I've felt like crap in general for a week now and I'm supposed to be pretty good!!! So, I've still done the gigs, gone to the gym, eat my fruit and veg and take vitamins. I've done all the things I'd normally do but at around 60% I reckon. Are Men more prone to flu or do we just get colds? I reckon it's sadly the latter. Equally I'm of the belief that women don't tend to suffer as much because they are the strong ones when it comes to dealing with pain, plain and simple. Here's a link to a report.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/06/21/pain.remedies/index.html
Personally, childbirth does NOT look like fun to me yet women seem to be more maternal than blokes. Why? Are they sadists? Lol:) Anyone who can fit you know what out of you know where and still survive, well, I don't need to go on do I. It is true that women do not feel pain like us blokes. I once saw a guy and a woman each with their hand dipped in a bowl of ice on live TV. The man lasted a few minutes and the women lasted until the end of the show! And she was still going!!!
So, be warned!!! Lanzarote is a hot spot on the map of bugs and viruses throughout the winter, men get it worse than women, official, simply because we genuinely do 'feel' worse and experience pain at a deeper level. So, with that, I'm off back to bed for a kip and before I do my good lady's gonna put the kettle on and tell me I'll be alright in a couple of days, especially with breakfast in bed, tea on demand and football on the radio:)
Property Pitfalls
This is a touchy issue and I have to reiterate that I'm not playing God on this post or on this site as a whole, take the advice I give as being from a friend, right or wrong.
Why is it that people ( me included ) buy properties abroad without a survey? I've seen the standard of building here and been 'unimpressed' for want of a better phrase. I've also, and I have to be reasonably careful with my choice of words, been unimpressed by certain tradesmen and people claiming to be one. Firstly, buying a house. Here's the best guide I can find. It's in a pretty good magazine called the "Lanzarote Gazette". I say pretty good because it's classy, glossy, it's interesting and most of the time it's very informative. Here's the link to their Property Guide:
http://www.gazettelanzarote.com/property.htm
Scroll down to the bottom of the page and download. If this is the same Property Guide that's in the magazine it's very good but the Gazette survives on advertising, the majority of which are Estate Agents. Let's say that unlike this site the Gazette is a commercial business and as such, has to do enough to keep their advertisers happy. I'd like to add a few thoughts from a resident who bought a property here and has had problems with traders.
First of all, I'd have a survey done. I have a very good friend of mine Andy, he's a fellow musician and a qualified builder. I've asked him if he wants to do surveys on houses and he's agreed. I don't know about a fee for his services and I don't want anything in return. I trust him, I trust his judgement and I've known him for a long time. He's got a good heart and he's a kind soul. He's got bags of experience in building and has helped me correct many sub-standard works on my own property. I can be confident that if anyone knows what to look for he will. I'd recommend him to anyone who asks me here and I'm recommending him on my website. You can contact him on: 0034679815995
Secondly, beware of people passing themselves off as traders. I had a company ( that still advertises on the island ) come in to my house and do some 'work' which was later inspected and dissected by my Step Father. He forwarded a 9 ( nine! ) page fax identifying many parts of the 'work', which was paid for, as being either substandard or charged for but not done. I was issued with a solicitors letter a couple of weeks later saying that the matter was now with him and if I said anything about the client I would be the one who'd be sued. My Step Father said "Attack is the best part of defence" and he was ready for a court battle. I, knowing how things are done around here decided for the sake of my sanity, not to pursue the matter. The 'builder' has now changed his company name ( I wonder why??? ) has since risen from the ashes and still claims to have many years experience in the building trade.
One day I came home to find an internal wall being built by a worker who stunk of beer ( someone I knew ) proudly displaying the wall ( which was buckled and had to be knocked down and re-built ) as his "First wall ever". The hot & cold taps were the wrong way round and the repair was terrible and had to be corrected. An outside stairwell wall was built with bricks far too wide leaving half the stairwell to the terrace with a thicker wall than the other half. I had clear glass put in bathroom windows! This is difficult for me to write so I'm not going to go on. You get the picture. I have seen the guy around the island and I have to grit my teeth and walk away.
So, take my advice, do your homework on a tradesman, ask to see work he's completed, ask for phone numbers from previous clients, get as many quotes as you can, ask for a breakdown of the job, hours of labour and materials. Don't be shy in asking. You're the one who's giving him work don't forget. If he's confident in his own ability then he should have no problem with you asking for recommendations. If he gets uncomfortable and agitated when you ask then I'd say be very, very careful. Be kind but be assertive. I'd recommend Andy but I think he's just here for the life and the easy money being a musician, lol:)
Christmas Cheer
Well, the first part of my Christmas is complete... U.D. Lanzarote 4 U.D. Fuerteventura 1, Leeds are getting thumped as I type but unfortunately Bradford City are hitting everything apart from the back of the net!! Typical City:)
Here in Lanzarote we celebrate Christmas, as in the eve of and the day itself, by taking a holiday and having a right good knees up although it is a little surreal seeing Santa crawling up the sides of houses when it's t-shirt weather:) Today has been glorious! I'm sorry for rubbing it in but today really was a day for smiles, clear blue skies and boiling hot sunshine. I even caught the sun at the match!
The strange thing, and I say strange as a first reaction, is that there's also a holiday on the 6th January ( Kings Day ) That's the day that the Spanish give each other presents which on first reaction may seem a little odd but with hindsight it becomes clear, or at least I think so:)
In the Bible ( This is taking me back a little way, lol:) ) Jesus was born and then the three kings, on hearing the virgin birth, left wherever they were and went to visit Jesus bringing with them presents... We usually give each other presents on Christmas day to 'celebrate' the birth of Christ but even that's contentious, the fact that Jesus was born on the 25th December. I'm not religious, my Dad was C of E and my Mum Catholic ( I'm an undecided Agnostic:) ) but the very act of giving each other presents really should be done after the birth or not? I reckon the Spanish have it right and what's more important to me is that we get another holiday:) Winner!
So, 24th - half day, 25th - day off, 26th - day off for some, 31st - half day for some, 1st - day off, 6th - day off and 7th day off for some. The weather, which has been really bad for a couple of weeks now has changed and happily the forecast is good for the weekend at least.
2009… The Year Ahead
The joke has already circulated here: “Feliz Navidad y prospero año 2010” ( Happy Christmas and a prosperous 2010 ) as in, forget 2009:) Next year will be a challenge for sure. It’s the first time since I saw the planes going in to the Twin Towers that I’ve feared for my future on Lanzarote. I later felt terrible about my initial reaction to 911, admittedly before I saw people hurling themselves from the higher floors to certain death below, but looking back it was one of survival. I thought it was incredibly selfish of me and for a while I felt ashamed to admit I felt that way. I think we all go back to that survival instinct though when we feel vulnerable and right now I’m pessimistic about Lanzarote’s future for five good reasons.
Currency
Around 46% of tourism in Lanzarote is British and with the majority of Germans, French, Italians and Spanish preferring their Hotel rather than bars and restaurants, the value of the pound to the Euro is a major factor. At the time of writing, 1 pound will buy you 1.04 Euros as opposed to the 1.50 plus Euros it bought earlier this year. This is really bad news for tourism as the prices of the alcohol and food has risen by a third.
Climate Change
The weather here isn’t guaranteed anymore. December was cold in comparison to previous years and we’ve had more rain here than I can remember in any previous winter.
All Inclusive’s
Tourism is up statistically this year but so are the viruses that are “All Inclusives”. All inclusives RUIN local trade and therefore local economy in my humble opinion. They need to be capped and soon, otherwise they will destroy everything in their path.
Crisis
Next year will be hard on a global scale.
Eastern Europe
Under a pound a pint or three pounds a pint and above? Exactly.
The strange thing is, despite the doom and gloom, Lanzarote and the Canaries have amazing ‘Bouncebackability’ Post 9/11 Lanzarote experienced, against everyone’s preconceived perceptions, a mini boom. I and many other residents thought that people would never fly again but they did, they just didn’t fly to the US or long haul as much, making the Canaries a great destination for sun. So, quite the reverse could happen in the near future thanks to the current climate.
The pound could go back up there again and it has to at some point, the question is when.
The climate here is on a different level than the UK. I’ve been told that summer just didn’t happen again and whilst I feel for people living in the UK there’s no doubt that it’s good for us here when Britain is cloudy, rainy and cold. People will come here because there’s a good chance it’ll be hot, especially in summer and we’re a short plane ride away.
All inclusive’s remain my major worry. When tourists come here they bring business, not just for me but for everyone. This island survives on tourism and if people pay their money in the UK, Germany, Italy, Spain or wherever using the All In option their money stays there. All inclusives do little to aid local people and their economy and the waste and abuse they cause is, in my honest opinion, shocking. I will do a blog on all Inclusives soon so I’ll leave it at that for now.
The crisis is all about confidence. People have lost faith but they will spend again, albeit more cautiously.
Eastern Europe is too far for many, too removed from the comforts that Spain and the Canaries offer. Britons will come here because they feel at home away. The downside is that at the moment it’s expensive but, as I’ve already mentioned, that could all change in a few months.
Overall, this could turn out to be a blessing in time. For too long Lanzarote has taken tourism for granted, taken Brits for granted and provided little in return for the massive amounts of revenue it gains from tourism in general. Already we’re seeing investment in Puerto del Carmen which has needed changing for years now, we’re seeing investment in infrastructure, we’ve got a beautiful marina at Playa Blanca ( albeit at a high environmental cost ) and the roads are finally seeing investment. It all seems as though the corruption has gone and decent people are in charge of the island instead of corrupt politicians influenced by powerful businessmen and their wealth.
Lanzarote will have to fight for tourism and that’s a good thing. Also, there has been a massive rise in bars, especially in the Playa Blanca area. When I first played there 2 bars did live music and there was one Karaoke bar. Now I can think of 7 bars that do live entertainment and at least 3 Karaoke bars. There are not enough people to go round and the fittest will survive, prices have to fall, Lanzarote will have to find a way to be competitive and maybe we’ll bring back a little class to the island and less of the Sports Bar and English Breakfast bars we’ve been used to over the last few years. Nothing wrong with those, but so many are both ugly and needless.
I’m up for a battle and so far no-one I know has been laid off. The next six months will be harder than any I’ve known but to enjoy the up you have to experience the down. All being well, it won’t be for long.
Hope you had a great Christmas and wishing you all a worry free New Year.
P**s Up's & Breweries
As much as I try to defend the ‘when in Rome’ philosophy there are times when I feel like banging heads together. We’re facing a crisis, it’s as simple as that. As I’ve said before Lanzarote will have to fight and fight hard for tourism over the coming year. With that in mind it seems as though Lanzarote is doing its bit. Gone are the corrupt politicians, illegal Hotels & money laundering and in their place are some good people by all accounts, people intent on change and a change for the better. Lanzarote people with Lanzarote in their hearts.
I was listening to the local radio as I always do, driving from the gym in Costa Teguise. There are always debates on local issues which is a great thing. This particular discussion was about how to attract tourism away from the main resorts and in to Arrecife, which let’s face it, is a pretty little place, especially on the front and the main beach ( El Reducto?? ) is one of the best kept on the entire island. Many topics were discussed, all of them viable and I was quite happy that tourists were being offered an alternative and a more authentic feel to the island I love.
Two weeks later we had a debate about Bus Stops ( wow! ) The thrust of the debate was why, when in Lanzarote we use Guagua for Bus, we keep using Bus for our Bus Stop signs? A passionate although light hearted dialogue ensued. All parties agreed that ‘Guagua’ as a word was frequently used and universally understood in the Canaries and in certain parts of South America too and it added to the identity and individuality of the island. Everyone concluded by agreeing that that the signs should be changed to Guagua. Great, I thought! What a brainwave that is. So, two weeks earlier we’re all trying to attract tourism to Arrecife and the tourists can't get there because no one knows what a ‘Guagua’ is!!! Worse still, those that do find their way in probably won’t get out again unless they get a taxi! Let’s face it, if you asked most Brits what they thought a sign saying Guagua was they’d probably think it was an outside loo for Dogs rather than a bus! Incredible.
But, it’s not just incompetence on a local scale. I’m glad the Gazette noticed this because I’ve noticed it too on a few football games. I think they mentioned the Manure v Arse game when a proud advert for “Islas Canarias”, probably viewed by millions and millions of the arm chair version of our game, adorned the screens. The thing is, the majority of people watching that game probably won’t know where or what “Las Islas Canarias” are whereas, if they used the English version ( Canary Islands ) and perhaps mentioned Tenerife, Gran Canaria, Lanzarote & Fuerteventura more vehemently then I can guarantee almost everyone would have known where Las Islas Canarias were, maybe not geographically speaking but you catch my drift I'm sure. I wonder what the cost of the advert was? I wonder what market they were trying to reach? Maybe they thought that the majority of viewers for Manure v Arse were Spanish? Chinese would have been far more appropriate!
Yo Yo Euro
Getting my mortgage in the UK sounded like a great idea at the time but now it’s a kick in the nether regions paying 1.40E to the pound when it’s 1.06E at today’s rate. I never thought I’d see the day when I would see parity, pound to the Euro. Last week we got to the heady heights of 1.12E but we’re back down near equilibrium and it’s depressing. Rumour has it that the UK has until 2010 to decide on the Euro. I also had someone ( a lovely Welsh lady who claimed she worked at the Mint ) telling me not so long ago that Britain has been printing UK Euros for the last two years.
At the time of the Euro the UK didn’t want to know, the main argument being “It’ll devalue out identity”. Ok, now go ask any Irishman whether he feels less Irish because of what he uses to buy a pint today and I think you’ll be looked upon like an alien invader. I said at the time that we ( I actually lived over here at the time so forgive me if the ‘we’ sounds a little weak ) should have done it. Who cares? Does anyone reading this care about what they trade in? I couldn’t give a t*** to be truthful and would quite happily trade in Dominoes or Tiddlywinks if that was the currency that bought me guitar strings.
Right now, Britons are over here moaning ( lets face it, Britons generally are good at that ) about the price of everything. Well, here’s the mind-blowing bit of information for all you moaners. Most bars I know have actually reduced their prices, some even accepting no profit for the next few months to make their prices a little more attractive, especially on local beers and spirits. Des at Mollies tried to explain it to me after my gig there last week but I was too cream crackered to understand fully. The upshot is that he claimed he couldn’t reduce imported beer, especially as he has to put a little more on to cover the live entertainment ( errr, sorry people, ahem… )
The long and the short of it is that it’s a pain in the hole working with the pound. It’s time that the UK made the change and got on with it. To be honest, the way this year’s started 2010 can’t come soon enough!
Costing the Crisis
I’ve got to admit that I really feel for people at the moment. The weather’s changeable to say the least, at times it’s cold by anyone’s standards, we’re being bombarded by miserable reports in financial markets and the pound is worth about a chip rather than a plate of these days. However, spare a thought for our bars, restaurants and local business in general. I was told recently that a bottle of Moet something or other ( I don’t drink Champagne and therefore this could have been vinegar for all I know! ) could be bought cheaper in a restaurant than what it could be bought here trade, by said bar owner. The doom and gloom which has been a feature of the last few months has been compounded by the pound weakening against the Euro or vice versa. Through no fault of any publican or restaurateur on Lanzarote prices here have gone up by a third for British tourism and the Brits officially represent 48% of tourism here. I would suggest that the percentage relating to nationalities who actually leave their hotels and use the bars and restaurants as their food and entertainment would be much higher for Brits. They are the blood through the veins of this place, simple as. I’ve even known of Irish Bar owners shouting on England in the hope they get through to the finals of a competition! They know and recognise just how important Brits are for the economy. Having said that their allegiance would dramatically change 180 degrees if England did actually reach any final of anything!
Most places are dropping their prices where they can, especially on local products and it’s worth pointing out that a spirit plus a mixer here may seem expensive at the moment but a Brit would be getting somewhere around a triple measure as opposed to the splash they get at home.
The general mood has lifted a little this week although it’s still precarious. What I’m finding is that it’s a survival of the fittest and the fittest normally means quality. It’s clear out time. The spill over bars are closing down, the restaurants that survived on people who came out to eat too late and couldn’t get a table anywhere are going to the wall, people are using the Internet as a source of info prior to coming which is great and the quality bars and restaurants are still with us. Us musicians will suffer too, I already have financially but it will create opportunities too as our cost of living will go down accordingly. Petrol is already nearly half the price it was only a few months ago ( 60c per litre ) and consumer products are following suit. The building trade and home improvements are dropping their prices also so people will be tempted out to buy eventually. I personally think it’ll take around 6 months for any sort of confidence to return and people to start coming out again. Come the day petrol will be cheap, flights will be cheap, bars will be cheap again ( no one honestly believes that the pound will stay at one for one forever – it’s 1.14 today ) and despite this winter being one of the coldest the Canaries and especially Lanzarote has known it will always be many degrees warmer than anywhere else I know for a short flight winter break. I remain positive, quality will win, Lanzarote still has that quality and this crisis won’t last as long as everyone predicts. We’ll see…
Play It Again Gazza...
A little turn for the better this week although not by much! The volume of people is ok but people ( And I'm not blaming anyone for this ) are just not spending in the quantities they would do normally. No-one is pushing the boat out whereas once we'd all say "Oh sod it, put it on the card and we'll worry about it when we get home" The Spanish banks have put the blame firmly on the Spanish people for taking out so much credit which is a bit like putting an alcoholic in a bar and leaving him the key expecting nothing to be touched when you get back. Only the strongest of strong wills wouldn't have been tempted by all the credit offers that have been bounded about by the banks and other financial institutions over many years. All this when my bank ( Banco Popular ) still managed to turn over a profit last year. Makes you think eh?
Anyway, the point of this little dogral is regarding the difficulties I have today of finding the right song for a given audience. 15 years ago it was easier to guage an audience, as in, what someone wore and their general apprearance helped me to choose the songs. Now I'm a little surprised at the reaction and requests when I get them. As an example the punks have all grown up, look mere mortals now and I'm approaching 40 so my age group who would have been Mods, Ska's, Rockers, New Romantics, Ants, New Age are all now looking like the sixties lot did when I first came here. Also, music has branched out so much, encapsulating so many genres and ages that I really don't know where to start! My Mum ( who arrives with my Step Dad in about half an hour - hence the rush:) ) likes anything from Classical to the sixties and Imagination through to the Foo Fighters and Feeder! She's 60 this year! What chance do I stand? By the same token a lot of kids like the older stuff. I was approached by a 12 year old at the gig a month back... "Oh Jesus" I thought, Britany Spears, one of those new faces on the Simon Cowell production line of here today's gone tomorrow's maybe, S Club 7 or Girls Aloud perhaps??? Nope. Wait for it...
Rod Stewart, ROD BLOODY TEENAGE HEART THROB STEWART!!!
I end up at gigs these days mainly taking requests:) I like to play the songs people like, I feed off their feedback. Even with a set list of a few hundred I could always add a few more. The trouble is, when I do I tend to add recent songs but they don't last like the classics or even the songs from my era, which to be truthful are noe being considered classics in their own right. What a Pub Singer like myself will be singing in 30 or 40 years time I really don't know! I can just see it. All us late thirties will be sat there doing the box dance and telling everyone how we used to get really wasted, partying in clubs to banging music until 5 or 6 in the morning and we'll probably be hypocritical enough to tell our kids not to do it ( just like our parents of the 60's told us ) because it's BAAAD for you, lol:) I can imagine myself as a greying frail 70 plus asking some poor 30 yr old singer to play "Breathe" by Prodigy and then flinging my arms around in a mock mosh pit at the front with all the other 70 pluses!!! "That was true music son!" "Ooo, in my day" etc... etc... I can't wait:)
Ok, the folks arrive soon and no doubt my Mum will be asking me to play the Kings of Leon later tonight!
Stroll on...
Dear Mr or Mrs T Thompkins...
"Horrible! - T Thompkins. Date of travel: Sep 2007
We were very disappointed with Playa Blanca. It was full of tacky souvenir shops, dodgy electrical stores, Karaoke bars, English & Irish bars and Chinese restaurants. When I go on holiday I like to sample the local atmosphere and food, not much chance of that here! I can never understand why people go to English style restaurants and bars when they're in a different country, you can have a Chinese or a pint of Guiness anytime in your own country. Also this resort seems to attract the 'Brits Abroad' type of people which makes it even worse. There were a couple of decent, traditional restaurants and tapas bars we went to, but overall Lanzarote seems more expensive than when we last stayed a couple of years ago, same prices as UK, give or take a little. Will never return to Playa Blanca"
They say you've got to take constructive criticism and there are pieces I can actually identify with here but I feel I have to defend my little island Mr or Mrs T Thompkins. To say Playa Blanca is 'full' of tacky souvenir shops, dodgy electrical stores and Karaoke Bars is plainly untrue. To my mind there are 3 bars that have Karaoke ( by far and away less than most holiday resorts I have been to ) and in one of those it's only two nights a week. There are dodgy electrical shops but not in any great number and it's something that I don't like either but the simple action is, DON'T USE THEM:) Tacky souvenir shops are a feature of ANY tourist resort and to use that as being exclusive to Lanzarote, again, I feel is unfair to say the least. It's the same with English, Irish Bars and Chinese Restaurants. I too, like you, love to experience the local culture but many people don't and prefer their home comforts abroad. That's what they want and that's what we have to cater for to remain attrractive to the majority of people who arrive at our shores. Not everyone has the pallet to enjoy overseas food either. I'm well travelled and there have been times abroad where I've gone for something I know over something I don't. With so many Chinese restaurants around the world it's just not right to taint Lanzarote with this accusation either.
Your 'Brits Abroad' quote is laughable. Have you ever been to Magaluf, Ibiza or pretty much anywhere along the southern coast of Spain up to but not including Nerja? The pound is so weak against the Euro at the moment that we can do nothing about the prices here. Prices have actually dropped around the bars, they've had to, to become more competitive with the UK. Try getting a double G&T in the UK and you'll hardly taste the G. I can guarantee you'll get value for your money on the shots here.
There are more typical Canarian/Spanish restaurants here on the island than anywhere else I've been to and I've travelled extensively throughout Europe. Playa Blanca is one of the most picturesque places ( in terms of a holiday resort as opposed to a town, village, city ) that I know and the island itself is, in the main beautiful. I don't know where the hell you've been that has this traditional feel you're looking for. I would have said Egypt but even there you can find pyramids accompanied by Pizza Hut! I'd say go to Czech Republic next time, anywhere away from Prague as you won't be able to understand the menu and won't be able to converse at all. Enjoy:) If you'd have bothered to ask you could have gone down the road to El Golfo which has a number of great restaurants with No Karaoke Bars, No Sky Sports, No Electrical Shops, No Chinese Restaurants and you'll struggle to find anywhere that sells Guinness! Damn, there are tacky souvenir shops:) Ah well, you say you won't be back. I personally won't shed any tears.
Boat people...
A few days ago a patera ( small craft ) carrying Fathers, Mothers and kids got within 20 meters of the promised land of Lanzarote and was destroyed on the rocks off the coast of Los Cocoteros which is situated in the North of the island. The last I heard 4 people had died, another 8 or so were rescued although critical and there are many still unaccounted for. Crafts arrive here in the Canaries all the time, people setting off from Africa risking their lives and that of their loved ones for an unlikely shot at bettering their life away from their own country. It saddened me to hear of the deaths and also made me consider my own situation.
You can't escape the crisis here or around the world. Who knows where or when it will end but I do know that it won't end with me and my loved ones jumping on a raft and aiming it at Spain. For all the doom and gloom around at the moment we have enough to eat, enough to drink and we're warm, healthy and overall very happy. Sometimes it's good to see the larger picture and so far, I'm not even one of the nearly 7000 people who lose their jobs daily here in Spain either. Things are a little better again this week, not much, but a little and that's a step in the right direction at least.
Don't worry, be happy I guess is the motto. Type a little more next time, only a short one as I've added a new tradesman page to the site and written a little bit more on the other pages too. A little at a time, Enjoy...
Viva Espana???...
I know, I know, there should be a squiggly thingy above the 'n' but this UK keyboard doesn't have one:) It's voting time in Pais Basque ( ETA country ) and Galicia tomorrow. I'm guessing that not many people know that Spain is made up of a coalition of small areas ( some would say countries ). There's Galicia where they speak Galician, Pais Basque ( Euskadi ) where they speak Euskara and Catalunia where they speak Catalan ( I hope I've got the spellings right and the info! ) Each region, including here in the Canaries governs itself under autonomy within the unbrella of Spain, very much like Wales, Scotland and N.Ireland govern themselves under the mantle of Great Britain. I can't tell you exactly how this works but it seems to me to be a very loose thread.
There's a huge anti Spain / Spanish feeling throughout these regions, less so in Analucia, Canaries and Galicia, more so in Catalunia and Pais Basque ( Catalunia has refused to provide education in Spanish recently ( Castellano ) ) and in Pais Basque, ETA, unlike the IRA, are still active and cause havoc wherever and whenever they have the opportunity. Some regions are trying, with varying degrees of political pressure and some with force, to free their countries from the clutches of Spain. Pais Basque and Catalunia actually extend in to France. How long will Spain as a country survive especially since these areas speak their own language and therefore have their own identity? Ask any Canarian whether they'd prefer to be under the wing of Spain and you know the answer even though their own language has been erased!
I guess people just want to decide their own future and who can deny them that? Yes, Spain is steeped in history but are invasions, rape and pillage any basis to feel proud of one's history? We Brits should know a lot about that! It's time to give back to the people I think, even if that means the end of Spain. At least they'll have less chance of showing us all how to play our wonderful game if they can only pool players from Madrid and surrounding areas, lol:)
Jeeeez, did I write another political blog?!!!:)
Michael Fish Would Not Be Happy At All...:)
With City leading 3-0 and only 15 mins to go I'm feeling pretty good ( although there's time for us to bow it yet, lol:)) despite the weather and that is the subject of this blog. I can't believe how far out some of the weather sites are. You can choose from absolutely loads and every single one of them was wrong today. The weather has been overcast and a little chilly, well, that's by Lanzarote standards. We had rain forecast by some, sun by others and combinations of pretty much all types of weather apart from snow. It really is ridiculous that these sites can post such varied predictions as some of you guys use these sites to decide when you're going away. Would anyone in their right mind take a last minute holiday when the weather forecast says cloud and rain? No. I wonder how much buisness is lost due to these sites printing what can only be described as ficticous rubbish? I wonder if these sites can be held responsible for their actions? I doubt it.
What I'll try to do this week is to find as many sites as possible with todays weather and possibly tomorrows, correct and monitor those sites throughout the week. At the end of it I'll choose a site or maybe two so you can have an accurate reference tot he weather here. To be honest, the site will probably be a Spanish site but don't worry, I'll make sure that the relevant information is available so you can understand. There should be pictures anyway and everyone can understand dates so there really shouldn't be a problem. Enjoy the site, it's nearly ready to go live properly and I'm almost ready to email it out to my contacts.
5-0 now to City! What a lovely weekend it's turning out to be, again, despite the weather:)
Armchair United???...
It must be easy for Man Utd fans to follow their team. Man Utd seem to be on TV every single week and the bars around here, when Man Utd are playing are absolutely packed to the rafters. It seems weird to me that people scream at the TV, contest decisions and gesticulate as if they're actually there. I do too I supose when Bradford City get their once a blue moon chance to show off their incredible 'losing in the last minute' footballing skills:) At least I can lay claim to a few seasons watching my hometown club. This does lead me to think that England is split between those who support Man Utd, and I use the word support in loose terms here, and those who do not. I know it's an old argument but I wonder how many of those people have seen Man Utd in the flesh? I don't go for that timeless excuse "there's no tickets available" because there are in the earlier rounds of the League Cup which are pitifully attended on occasions at Old Trafford. Still, if it's on TV eh?
Liverpool have just thumped Man Utd 4-1 at Old Trafford which probably won't make a sod of difference as to who wins the title but it'll make a difference to me as I'm taking a plunge here by saying that there'll be no Man Utd shirts in the bar tonight:) I guess China, Thailand, Ireland, Scandinavia and London will be in mourning tonight, lol:) It happens here too. We have the same problem with demotivated locals who prefer to watch La Liga on TV rather than U.D.Lanzarote. It breaks my heart when I think of last week at Arrecife stadium ( Ciudad Deportiva Lanzarote ) where we had a relegation battle, a local derby, a battle of a strong physical team against a smaller, more skillful, nimbler team which is always a good catalyst for a good game, we had seven goals ( three in the first four second half minutes ) a last minute overhead winner ( by us, thank God!!! ) and two sent off!! It had everything and yet people still prefer to sit in front of the TV, locals and ex-pats.
There are no excuses, get off your behind and come and support U.D.Lanzarote, even if you're here on holiday. Check out the times and games on lanzarotefootball.com
The weather has been beautiful this week and more tranquil than at any stage throughout the winter, typical when I've been doing a study of weather sites, lol:) I'll have a look through and give you the best one under the 'Weather' tag on this site and to all you Man United fans, I wonder if you support Brazil over England, Ireland, China, Thailand, Sweden, Denmark, Norway or Finland just because they've got more chance of winning? Then why is it so different when a team from Trafford plays your hometown club? I can't see it and I dare say never will. We're 1-0 down to Exeter City though so maybe I should join you? Lol:)
Gazza v The Gazette
Dear Shaun,
In response to your “No Taxation Without Representation” article last month here are some ex-pat thoughts to the contrary. So, what you’re advocating is that anyone, as long as they’re from the EU and paying taxes here, should have the right to vote in Lanzarote? How narrow-minded, selfish and foolish is that? For starters, if this is a moral issue then why haven’t you also included Africans, Chinese, Filipinos, Japanese, Central/South Americans and the rest of our Lanzarotian tax paying public or don’t the boundaries of EU prejudice stretch that far? Was the EU created for us to have a political say in the way our adopted home was run? No. We moved here, we chose to live here and with that, should accept the manner in which the island is governed, for better or for worse. It does not ( or should not in my honest opinion ) constitute an immediate right to vote quite simply because we were born within the boundaries of a state that was created for economic, not social reasons. Did I really move here to be ruled by a Brit? Definitely NOT! If you think the Lanzarotanians invented the old adage “P**s ups and breweries” then just take a look at what’s been happening back home ladies and gents, starting with a war that’s cost a few thousand lives, ruined communities and distanced even further, conflicting religions. A war which the vast majority of Britain did not want! What you at the Gazette are supporting will eventually mean that the indigenous people of this island will be dictated to by someone or a group of people who isn’t/aren’t one their own and this will no doubt lead to them feeling alienated and angry. Have we ex-pats learned nothing from experience or do we come over here trying to impose Britain on Lanzarote whilst taking a glance over our sunburnt shoulder and point an accusing finger at ethnic minorities for the problems in the UK, Ireland and the rest of the EU? It’s political correctness gone mad and it will cause discord and animosity between communities, far from the harmonious island existence we all crave.
Shaun, would you rent a room in your house and let your tenant dictate to you where you put your furniture, how you paid your bills and where to build your pool? I DO NOT want to be represented by a Brit, Irish, German, EU, Chinese, etc, etc, etc… This would divide us, not unite us. We weren’t born here, it’s as simple as that. We’re here thanks to the good nature and acceptance of the Lanzarotanian people, paying our rent if you like, in to their tax system. It’s up to them to govern in their land, we are tenants not landlords. Our children however, should be entitled to their say as they will know no different other than Lanzarote, it’s their house but not ours. Is it right that a person with no understanding of her history, culture or language can move to Lanzarote and have an immediate right to vote on local issues? That is the very thing that has fragmented Britain in to small pieces of PC ruin rather than the whole she should be. Integration is about slowly combining two parts not imposing the will of a minority on indigenous peoples at the earliest opportunity. If they want our opinion then do a survey, ask in the streets, send letters, emails, there are other ways but ultimately the people of Lanzarote should rule their land and if I or we don’t like it then there are other places in the world where we can try to settle and be happy. It’s tantamount to invasion and conquest politically and I’m sure the Canarian people as a whole have seen enough of that in their own history not to wish for any repeat. The majority quietly resent being ruled by Spain let alone us Brits.
If we do have to be represented by a Briton or any other nationality for that matter, then please let’s have someone who has integrated properly with the life here, speaks the language and has the interests of the island at heart, not his or her own pocket. Take a bow Mr Roger Deign who along with being involved with local politics ( Partido Popular - Tories to you and I ) has his own British School with British exam qualifications and his own British radio station, a fine entrepreneurial example of British style integration if ever there was one! His Guantanamo/Tropical disease comments were about the first words he uttered in his new found role and should have been his last in politics as far as I’m concerned. I have to endure his right wing babble on the local radio debates most Fridays whilst I try to listen to people who are working to put things right rather than someone who, it seems to me at least, is only there for the status, the limelight and the publicity he can get for his own mushrooming empire.
Maybe there can be a call for a compromise, if the locals are so intent on having an outsiders say ( and I personally don’t believe they are ) and if we are to have a non-islander in Lanzarote politics representing the majority of the thoughts of the ex-pat community then he or she should have at the bear minimum, an excellent command of the language, have lived here a good number of years, maybe the life of a parliament or two? and should have been involved in some community activity, a local charity or voluntary work on the island not a local businessman or businesswoman, the latter of which only seem intent on lining their own pockets rather than working for the good of the island as a whole. Some would call my stance subservient but obviously I’d prefer to think of it as respectful. A blip in an otherwise thoughtful, if overly commercial, magazine.
Yours, Sincerely,
Gazza ( Pub Singer:) )
Now, let’s get one thing straight. I understand life here can be very frustrating but it’s a very serious scenario when people who are seen as outsiders start to voice their opinion and it actually holds some clout. We’re entering in to very murky waters here and as much as I tear my hair out at the way this island is run sometimes, the decision to change all that must come from the Canarian / Lanzarotainian people themselves, not me or indeed, us. You decide…
All Inclusive's
You can't blame people when an All Inclusive holiday offers all you can eat and drink for just a shade over the price of a normal package holiday but what does that mean for local people and their economy?
I think it could spell disaster. The writing may well be on the wall if Lanzarote allows this form of holiday any more of a hold on the island. It's already having a massive effect on the bars and restaurants that are closing in alarming numbers. Everything is against us at the moment, the pound, the crisis, eastern Europe and now All In's.
If people pay their money in the UK, Germany, Italy, France or Wherever then the money and certainly any profit will stay right there, in the pockets of the multinationals. Local people will suffer and do. The restaurants and bars are suffering because people are staying in the hotels, eating and drinking themselves senseless. The only time you'll see the bars packed are for big football games and then you'll see people sitting on their drinks if not for all the game then certainly for each half. Why would they spend 3 or 4 Euros on a pint when they can get it for nothing in the hotel? You can't blame the tourist at all but something has to change, a fairer system. All Inclusive's weren't meant for tranquil Lanzarote, they were meant for countries where tourists could be in danger. I mean, come on, Lanzarote??
It's the glutenous nature of All In's too that can be quite ugly. I've seen people coming in with their little plastic coloured bands senselessly drunk and abusing staff and customers. They don't know what they are doing and they'll probably be repentant come the next day but it doesn't make things any prettier.
All In's, unsurprisingly, are on the up, quite whether Lanzarote as a whole is on the way up thanks to All In's is another question. I personally believe that if they are not controlled then they will wipe out tourism here, leaving empty bars, restaurants and complexes in their wake. Two years max at this rate, it's that serious!
The alternative for me will be to join the crowd, play in the All Inclusive hotels and I really don't think I can cope with a crowd that's been drinking all day, lol:) Surely there can and has to be a balance? The local tourism Minister wants to see outside attractions to become more 'attractive' to All Inclusive clients. Errrm, does she mean that the bars will start to give away their beer too? Perhaps she wants to foot the bill and suppliment the bars for the sake of tourism? It's a tricky situation and one that needs addressing very quickly. There's room for us all, All In's, bars, restaurants, businesses but too many All Inclusive hotels can't be the answer.
Police Double Standards
So, I was driving along the circuvalacion the other day and I noticed a Guardia Civil guy behind me. I wasn’t speeding but a few people started to pull over. I followed suit noticing in front of me what looked like a young guy elbow at a right angle, clearly talking on his mobile whilst driving. The Guardia car pulled up behind him, followed him for about a half a km before the young guy must have noticed. I laughed a little wickedly thinking that the Guardia Civil car was going to pull him over any moment as it had manoeuvred in front of the offender.
What I saw from then on really shocked me. Instead of pulling over the offending car, the young kid took the slip road to Costa Teguise with the Guardia Car in front. Instead of blocking the young kid and pulling in to the slip road the Guardia just drove straight on in to Arrecife, no flashing lights, no signal, no communication, nothing. They did NOTHING! The young kid must have been laughing his head off.
My point being, how can we have any respect for authority when this is happening? It’s ridiculous and the Guardia Civil should hang their heads in shame…
Light at the end of the tunnel
Many bars and restaurants haven’t made it through and there may well be some that don’t make it ( I heard the other day that 16% of all businesses in the Canaries will close over the coming months ) but I honestly feel that the worst is over. Being very cynical, sometimes you need a crisis to make governments and people work that bit harder to keep what they’ve got and that’s happened here. Investment is happening on the island, especially in Puerto Del Carmen and corrupt Mayors, Civil Servants and Politicians have been ousted from prominent positions in Government. It’s been refreshing to see the people voice their concerns too instead of being apathetical.
Personally I not only invested in a new computer but also spent anything I earned on the house which is tantalisingly close to being finished, taking advantage of tradesmen who not only took a cut in wages but were also available when previously they weren’t. My own income initially dropped by around 35-40% although I’ve recouped some of that over the summer. If I take in to consideration the amount tradesmen’s wages have come down and the offers on materials etc, etc, I bet I’ve actually come out of the crisis in good shape. I’m also being called again for gigs so there’s a good sign, 6 gigs a week in times of trouble can’t be bad eh? J
There has been a lot of talk about the new flights coming in from Ryan Air and Easy Jet. Whilst it’s good that people are coming it very much depends on the ‘type’ of tourism these flights bring. Whilst I don’t expect people to be coming in their millions and spending millions to boot it would be nice ( and very welcome ) if the Canaries as a whole has recognised the damage being done by All Inclusives. Many thousands of people chose that route this summer and spent their holidays within the confinements of their hotel. I don’t blame the tourists one bit for taking an opportunity of a cheaper holiday, I blame the Canarian governments for making that possible. If people book their holiday in the UK, Germany, Ireland or wherever, any profit stays right there, the people here will hardly see any benefit, bars and restaurants will close and the economy will suffer and has. We need to learn and learn fast.
Expect a few more posts as I return to something like normality after a hectic period. As I said, the house is nearly finished bar the kitchen and what a job! Anyone who’s thinking of coming out and buying a house to ‘do up’ make sure you have the time, the money and the stamina! The other day I helped a mate of mine filling the walls of his pool. 1000kg of cement, 2000kg sand and 3000kg of stone all mixed by me. I was KNACKERED!!! 11am till 11pm we worked with two small breaks. Prepare yourself if you’re going down that route.
Type soon, Gazza
